You’re so sleepy….you drag yourself to bed….assume the most comfortable position……close your eyes…..and bam! Eyes shut, Brain ON!
In my case I’m convinced I have a nocturnal, split personality stowed away in my brain. It only comes out when the lights are low and all the rest of my being wants to sleep. It suggests the most convincing concepts, life goals, wants and needs. It wins every argument I may have had that day or perhaps an argument I’ve never had. Its more inspiring than any motivational speaker. And even if I don’t suffer from A.D.D…..it does.
If you haven’t caught on by now my guess is you and I don’t have the same types of problems and you probably won’t be able to relate to this in any way. Nonetheless, read on if you wish.
I’ve thought about trying to write down my sporadic thoughts while counting sheep but its occurred to me that its an entirely different part of my brain at work. The subconscious. I really shouldn’t be surprised by its behavior given my daily conscious thoughts.
I’m not kidding when I say I have an irrational fear that there may be people among us that can read our minds. I pray I never unknowingly find myself in the presence of one. Bad for me….worse for them.
Anyway, I will admit this isn’t a nightly occurrence but it does happen often. Often enough for me to want to write about it. Well, who am I kidding, I’d write about anything. This however has won the top spot for this week.
I’m unsure of what causes the subconscious to be so loud. Perhaps an overload of conscious stimulation. A busy day, too much problem solving, dealing with people you’d rather not deal with, basic things that demand your logical train of thought. I’ve narrowed it down to the fact that my brain has had no time to play. It has had zero fun and it is pissed.
You see, its most common to have an over active voice in my head on days I’ve felt the most productive. Days I’ve crossed all the To Do’s off and gotten ahead of the game. Nights I’m certain I will be soaking in all that beauty sleep all these women talk about. That being said I assure you my subconscious isn’t all that attractive.
We can’t win them all.
I’ll keep this short and sweet but I think it would be in this posts best interest to give an example of how my subconscious sounds on the evenings it feels most active. My main goal here is to let it out to play, if only for the hour I have on my lunch break. Then, and only then will I have a fighting chance to shut. it. up.
Ahhh these pillows, I need new pillows. Or maybe another pillow. Yeeaaaahh another pillow. I could have so many pillows…I’d be like the Princess and The Pea. Wait that was matresses. And a pea….why did she have the pea again? Like, don’t pea (pee) the bed? Was that a potty training book? How long ago did I pee? Gosh I hope I don’t have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee. Did I drink enough water today? Next time I’m at Walmart I should get a new water bottle. Something fun, that makes me WANT to drink more water. I should exercise more. I should buy fun workout clothes that make me WANT to exercise. Then I’d have to eat better. Geez, I ate a lot of junk today. I’m gonna wake up early, eat yogurt, exercise and drink water. Lots of water. Wow, I’m really gonna do it this time. I feel so motivated. I am so excited to wake up tomorrow. Eww, I have to pay bills tomorrow. I should save more money. I’m gonna start a savings account tomorrow. Wow, by the end of the year, Christmas, I’m gonna have so much money. I love Christmas! Jeepers, what should I get Tom for Christmas. I wonder what Tom is doing right now. PROBABLY SLEEPING. Why can’t I fall asleep? Crap, did I turn the furnace down? How “cool” would it be if I could turn down the thermostat from my bed? Ha, wow I’m so punny! I bet no one else is this punny this late at night. What time is it? Uhhh I’ve been laying here for 10 minutes. What else takes 10 minutes? Taking a shower, drying my hair, washing my car. Gross. My car is filthy. I’m getting a carwash on my lunch tomorrow. What am I gonna have for lunch? Dairy Queen…..NO a salad. I’m gonna have a salad, get my car washed, buy a lottery ticket….because I bet this is the time I win. I could buy so many water bottles if I won the lottery. I could buy a new car. Maybe I won’t wash my car At the car wash, Workin’ at the car wash yeah, Yeah yeah yeah yeah. I wish my radio was on. Its too quite in here. (Crack) Oh my gosh what was that? Ugh, what if my house got broken into right now. I have on the weirdest pajamas. And its cold. Its too cold for a robber. I love those little masks that robbers wear in cartoons, its so sneaky. Sneaky but cute. Puppies are cute too, awe I want a puppy. But a big puppy. A HUGE puppy. One that grows up and is the size of a camel. Not a horse, a camel. HUMP DAY…no tomorrow is Thursday. Today was hump day. Garbage day. Did I bring the garbage can in? What if someone hit it? Did I check the mail? I love getting mail. I’m such a loser, 24 and I like getting mail. Whoa, I’m almost 25. I need to do a lot of stuff in 25 years. When I’m 50, it will be year 2040. Weird…..
The song Highway, by Holly Williams, will blast at 6:30 a.m. reminding me its Thursday morning when I’m suppose to get up exercise and drink more water.
My conscious self will win with the push of the snooze button. 3 times.